Uh oh

UN
MAAN (Much Ado About Nothing) HEAD-TO-HEAD
PROJECT C
TESTS, TESTS, MORE TESTS
SAT SUBJECT TESTS
PUBLIC RELATIONS APPLICATION + WAITING FOR RESULTS?

Sometimes...I just hate my life...and when things build up, everything spirals out of control. Especially when one thing creeps into another.

Oh joy.

BAPTISM!!

Today was the day. I was baptized into the body of Christ.

Thanks to everyone who supported me and those who were there to witness it. Thanks to those who promised to support me throughout my spiritual journey.

This means a lot to me, more than you might initially imagine. PRAISE THE LORD!!! :)

You know...I'm a human being, right?

In the midst of AP studying, stress, and the whatnot, I think it's still important to slow down for a bit and think about what's going on around us.

First off, as this year dragged on, I figured out what our class is becoming. I quickly realized that despite my growing generosity, I was really being "used" for schoolwork reference instead of being talked to. You know...I'm a human being, too, not an encyclopedia. I can do more than just tell you what the English homework was for last night.

Which brings me to my next point--friends slowly slipping into moochers that just use me for academic help. I mean, I love my friends and all that, but I actually feel insulted when I'm just used as a reference guide. I don't have a problem with helping people, but I DO have a problem when I start losing friends along the way. That's just now what I expected, nor is it what I wanted.

I'm not going to point out any names, but for those people who have "used" me to look up the homework, carry your stuff, or just for convenience (you know who you are) and then set me aside, think about what you're really doing. It doesn't feel great to be shelved like a book--opened only when necessary. I'm human, too. I have feelings like the rest of you.

(this last paragraph is meant for a few specific people, and they know who they are, but it applies to everyone in a small way)
When I offer help, have you noticed how I don't really ask for much in return, just your appreciation for what I did? That's the bare minimum. Saying "thank you" is nice and all that, but it'd be so much better if you could talk to me a bit, too. I mean, we talk about our lives and stuff occasionally, but not so much as before. Instead, you use me for a bit and toss me aside...it's not the best feeling in the world. I know you're understanding, so please take my words into account.

I never thought I'd have to worry about THIS.

HI, I HAVE A QUESTION?

"Can you help me?"
"What is it?"
"I need help on my English project."
"Okay."
"What do you know about Lord of the Flies?"
"Did you read through the whole thing?"
"Yes, but no."
"...?"
"I don't get it."
"The book isn't that hard to understand."
"I don't get boring books and I don't want to get into it."

Wow. Wow. Wow. Someone just slap me in the face now and tell me I'm dreaming. I'm not going to summarize a whole book for someone not bothering to read it or even sparknote it. I dunno whether I should laugh or cry.

DISNEYLAND WHOO

4/30-5/3: pure fun

Okay, not entirely. I'm not going to lie, I love Disneyland, but this time, it could have been A LOT better.

Let's start out with the good:

1) Rides were fun

2) People were fun

3) Recording session was awesome

4) Unprecedented freedom (this was overlooked by a lot of people -.-)

Now for the not-so-goods:

1) Performance was horrible

2) Couldn't ride all the rides (I know, amazing, eh?)

3) Some people acted really strangely

4) There are some things...that only I can understand.

You might be reading this and be like, "WHOA WHO OR WHAT COULD'VE RUINED THE TRIP?" Well, the trip wasn't really RUINED; it just had too many big flaws (for me only). Let's count a few big ones:

1) I experienced "intentional ditching for unknown reasons"

2) I could have been treated better

3) To me, fireworks are something special, not simply light pollution (there are only 3 people that actually understand this, including me)

I'm keeping this note brief mainly because it's really hard to put some of this in words. Maybe part of this is my fault, maybe it isn't. Whatever the case, I still had fun, and it was well worth going.

It's just that every year I go to Disneyland, something really bad happens. How many times does the cycle need to continue?