SOPHOMORE YEAR in a nutshell

High school is halfway through. It seemed so fast...

Even in a blazing year, there's still a time (right now) where I reflect on what's happened, and what this year meant to me.

Sophomore year was, without a doubt, one of the best and ugliest years ever. A lot of good things happened and...a lot of bad things happened. Either way, there's a lot to remember.

Let's rewind...all the way back to the beginning of the year. I was actually doing well in all six classes. I thought, "Hey, I could really do well by the end of the year and it's not much of a problem at all right now!" After all, I had a 3.8 GPA (stupid Tale of Two Cities project), a good social life, and yeah. Pretty nice.

All of that changed pretty quickly near the end of the first semester.

First came braces and oral surgery. As soon as all the operations were completed, I started to lose one of the things I valued most: my trumpet playing. All of that went down. I chose the battle, but I fought it the wrong way: I spent money on mouthguards and such. Those didn't help--they made things worse. Now I'm still trying to get my full range back. After surgery, I decided that now would really be the ideal time to just focus on schoolwork, since my trumpet playing wasn't going to get further. Today, I'm still thinking--was that the right decision?

At one point, I had 4-6 projects at once. I never had to multitask so much in my life. As I spent countless hours getting my projects done, I was stressing out even more. Finals were coming. I felt underprepared. I still remember the night before the history + AP bio final...endless studying. I somehow got B's on both. My life, however, was going in a bad direction. I was staying up extremely late, talking to people less and less, and snapping to people. From that point until the end of the year, I struggled to get control over myself again.

Second semester came. Things weren't going much better. Even though finals were over, the workload increased. For bio, I had to make sure people did their objectives...to the point where I was chasing them at 1AM and going insane. Then the heavy projects and labs came in. I kept asking myself: "How do I get out of this? I need people to look to." My friends were there to support me, and they're all awesome, but I felt I needed that one extra push, someone I can look to for all situations, for everything.

Then I made the decision I will never regret. I started going to church again. Having God back into my life opened my eyes to so many things. It was the beginning, though, and I still had so many problems to tackle. But with God, I knew I could pull through.

Oddly enough, at that moment, issues increased trifold. Spring was here, which meant APs were going crazy. Throughout the months until after APs, I made some nasty decisions. I put work above everything else in my life. When I did my work, I didn't care about anything except for getting things done. Even people themselves didn't matter much to me anymore.

That decision ruined my life indefinitely. After the AP exam, I finally realized what I had done. I realized that what I did wasn't encouraging, and that schoolwork can't be everything. People's emotions do matter, despite my previous experiences. I never want to do such a thing again. In other words, I control my schoolwork, not the other way around.

At the same time, though, and even before, I noticed some not-so-pretty things about my own sophomore class of 2011, especially those in my English and history classes. Most of my classmates are cool people; they're fun, smart, and happy. However, I noticed that an increasing amount of them started asking me questions for assignments and such. Of course, I enjoy helping people; I even learn in the process. This time, however, I learned that most of my classmates were treating me more like a reference tool than an actual person. Outside from how to cite a book, not a lot of sophomores talk to me. Some have even put me down or completely ignored me. I could be visualizing this in a totally wrong way, but it's just how I feel...

Right before the year closed off, I learned one very brutal but important fact: often at times, our opinions aren't going to matter. There are several instances where people don't care what we think, and we may never change their minds. But it's life. It sucks, but we have to tackle it.

Heh...it's really late at night, so I doubt that this post is even coherent...my experiences this year are mostly those see-it-for-yourself things, but I tried my best. Anyway, out of the endless nights of studying, the bright moments, the worst moments, I'm so glad that my friends have been there for me, and will always be there for as long as possible. Thanks to those who have helped me throughout the year.